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The Ships Cat

Them Old Jokes

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You could toss the dog in swimming pool and call him "Bob".

That is even sicker.

 

Almost like . . . . I forgot, but it was a good one!!!!.

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for centuries two tribes had been fighting for the ownership of a huge stone throne. They fought battles & the winners took the throne away. One day a chief said "I'm fed up of this,next time we get the throne off the others we will hide it". This came to pass & the chief hid the throne on top of his hut. That night there was an almighty CRASH. The throne came through the roof & crushed the chief. The moral of this story is  "People who live in grass houses shouldn,t stow thrones! Sorry!! ;)

shihawk, neptune, Canute and 6 others like this

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Ok here's another. An Innuit was out fishing in his canoe. As the weather was a bit rough he got blown further & further out to sea& he was very cold. all he had with him was a box of matches, so he broke a piece off his canoe & lit it & warmed his hands but he soon got even colder so he kept breaking bits off & burning them till there was none left & the canoe sank & he drowned. AAAH!!,  so the moral of this story is.  "You can,t have your kayak & heat it"!  Once again, I,m sorry & going into hiding!! :o

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The Inuit "joke" reminded me of a riddle......and I paraphrase here.

There was an Inuit out in his canoe hunting for seals and doing pretty well.  He had been gone for a few days and ran out of matches and was desperate for a cigarette of which he had plenty.   So, how did he light up????................

 

He threw one cigarette over board and made the canoe a "cigarette lighter."     

 

I am ashamed for this contribution

 

Allan

geoff, Jack12477, mtaylor and 6 others like this

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my son got an apprenticeship with the local Council's horticulture department. He came home one day & said "dad Iv'e got the sack" . "Why" I said. The boss said "Because your wheelbarrow wheel was going squeak.............squeak..........squeak" . What's wrong with that " said my son. "Well" said the boss it should be going squeak,squeak,squeak!!! :o

Edited by geoff

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Two eskimos were preparing for a day's fishing, when one says to the other, "I have often wondered why we have many words for snow, but seem to have only one for a boat – kayak."

 

"That is indeed true," said the other, turning to his companion. "I can't think of another term, canoe?" :rolleyes:

Jack12477, GLakie, trippwj and 6 others like this

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this is not a joke as such, but try this when you have nothing else to do. Sit down & cross your right leg over your left. Now with your right foot draw a clockwise circle, keep it going & with your right forefinger draw an anti clockwise  figure "6" in the air & see what happens! :o

Edited by geoff

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this is not a joke as such, but try this when you have nothing else to do. Sit down & cross your right leg over your left. Now with your right foot draw a clockwise circle, keep it going & with your right forefinger draw a clockwise  figure "6" in the air & see what happens! :o

 

That is just freaky (and yes I can pat my head with one hand while rubbing my belly with the other).  :)

 

Bob

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What do you call two guys hanging on a wall? "Curt & Rod"

 

What do you call a guy w/ no arms or legs in a pile of leaves? "Russell"

 

What do you call a guy w/ no arms or legs in a hole? "Phil"

 

What do you call a guy w/ no arms or legs in a hot tub? "Stew"

GLakie, Jack12477, trippwj and 4 others like this

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What do you a guy with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? "Bob"

 

What do you call a Deer with no eyes? "No idea"

 

What do you call a Deer with no eyes and no legs? "Still no idea"

 

What do call a de-sexed Deer with no eyes and no legs? "Still no f***ing idea!"

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