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Posted (edited)

"Stupid is forever, but ignorance can be fixed. "

 

 

Which brings to mind:   " There are no stupid questions; just stupid people asking questions. " 

( I used to work at a support desk.. )

Edited by Gregory

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    About that.  How about the kids that say.... "let me see the candy first man, then I'll get in the van.  I'm not stupid you know!"

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  We usually order a half and half pizza with mushrooms on her side.  If some stray mushrooms end up on my half, she says "just eat them, you won't even taste them".  To which I say "if you can't taste them, why do you order them?":P

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The following two sayings are the best I have come across. 
 
If you win, don't say anything. 
If you lose, say even less. 
 
Here is one for the woodworker. 
 
May you always be...as long lived as redwood, as sturdy as the oak, as wiry as hickory, as useful as all woods, as nice as walnut and reach for heaven like the pine.
 
Marcus 

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Another classic Aussie phrase, and this one was taken as the name for one of my favorite American bands. The girlfriend of one of the three singers saw it in a magazine article about the Australian aborigine and it refers to how cold a night is

 

Sleep with one dog, cool night.

 

Two dogs, cold night.

 

THREE DOG NIGHT, flamin freezing 

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    I hate it when people accuse me of lollygagging when it is quite clear that I am in fact, just dillydallying!

 

    Life is short.  If you can't laugh at yourself, I will.

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    I've got a few more here:

 

   

     It's the quick thinkers who become leaders. (In other words - he who hesitates is bossed.)

 

    Sometimes it's possible to own too much.  A man who only owns one watch knows what time it is; a man with two watches is never quite sure.

       (Lee Segal)

 

    That which seems the height of absurdity in one generation often becomes the height of wisdom in another.

        (Adlai Stevenson)

 

    Cab drivers are living proof that practice does not make perfect.

        (Howard Ogden)

 

    You know you're overweight when you are living beyond your seams.

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Another Aussie one - "Onya!" - short for "Good on you" - in other words, well done.

 

One of my favourites, if someone you dislike gets his come-uppance - "Suffer in your jocks!"(don't ask me why, these things don't have to make sense).

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2 hours ago, VonHoldinghausen said:

In Sweden we say: "There are no stupid questions, only stupid answers".

I used to teach middle school science, and I never, ever told my students that there was no such thing as a stupid question. On the contrary, middle schoolers are very adept at asking such questions.  Example:

 

Me: "And so you can see that the quantum mechanical model is much more workable than Bohr's planetary model. Any questions?"

Student: "Mr. Coyle, do you like Mexican food?"

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Chris,  your post yesterday has me laughing out loud!!   Great real life example.  So, do you like Mexican food?

Allan

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On 8/6/2019 at 9:59 PM, Louie da fly said:

One of my favourites, if someone you dislike gets his come-uppance - "Suffer in your jocks!"(don't ask me why, these things don't have to make sense).

Mate, I've never heard that one. I like "Sucks to be you" as an alternative

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    The only place in life where a sacrifice is really appreciated is in Baseball.

 

    The people that are the happiest are the ones who are too busy to notice. 

 

    Whenever a fellow tells me he's bipartisan I know he's going to vote against me.

         (Harry S. Truman)

 

    How rare and wonderful is that flash of a moment when we realize we have just discovered a friend.

         (William Rotsler)

 

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Posted (edited)

Just thought of a couple..

 

You could be doing things right, but not doing the right things..

 

..and similarly:

 

You might get to the top of the ladder only to discover you are on the wrong ladder.

 

Edited by Gregory

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"Unfortunately some times people are educated beyond their means of intelligence". Meaning, you can send someone to Yale or Harvard, but there are just some cases of stupid that even a high end college education can't cure.    

 

 

mike

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On 8/7/2019 at 12:19 PM, BETAQDAVE said:

    The only place in life where a sacrifice is really appreciated is in Baseball.

 

    The people that are the happiest are the ones who are too busy to notice. 

 

    Whenever a fellow tells me he's bipartisan I know he's going to vote against me.

         (Harry S. Truman)

 

    How rare and wonderful is that flash of a moment when we realize we have just discovered a friend.

         (William Rotsler)

 

"How rare and wonderful is that flash of a moment when you realize we have just discovered a friend". Thank you for that quote Dave, that is the same way I feel about you my friend.

 

mike

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35 minutes ago, mtdoramike said:

"Unfortunately some times people are educated beyond their means of intelligence". Meaning, you can send someone to Yale or Harvard, but there are just some cases of stupid that even a high end college education can't cure.    

 

 

mike

 

The version I've heard in my childhood was: "You can anyone to college, but you can't make them think.".

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On 8/12/2019 at 9:48 AM, Gregory said:

Ooops.. Edited because I posted same one twice.

 

Here is a replacement..

 

" Of course we learn from our mistakes, but it is better to learn from someone else's mistakes. "

Or as Douglas Adams said "Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so"

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Arussian low key curse is "Yolki Palki" literally translated means fir sticks .I think. Its part of a poem but still something you might say when you stumble or drop something without harm.

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   I came across some good ones here.

“The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.”

– Al McGuire

“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.”

– Alan Dundes

 “Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.”

– Albert Einstein

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”

– Albert Einstein

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    I have a lot more, but here are a few.

     “It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.”

       – Andy Borowitz              

      “I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical.”

        – Arthur C. Clarke

     “My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right.”

      – Ashleigh Brilliant

     “To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.”

      – Ashleigh Brilliant

     “Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?”

      – Benny Hill

     “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

     – Bernard Baruch

     “Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.”

     – Bertrand Russell

     “The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.”

    – Bertrand Russell

     “Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment.”

     – Betty White

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