Jump to content

Recommended Posts

So being a ships cat I get bored sometimes after a heavy days murdering of rodents and keeping me shipmates happy with a bit of purring and meowing.

 

Now and again I like to visit me other ship born mates and hear their stories, the goats are a bit boring but the ducks are great.

 

My old mate Quack the duck (known him a month, heard he's going in the pot) told me a great story the other day about a visit he made to a pub in old blighty London.

 

Quack the Duck walks into a pub and asks - "Got any bread mate?"

 

Barman - "No"

Duck - Got any bread mate?

Barman - No!

Duck - Got any bread mate?

Barman - No!

Duck - Got any bread mate?

Barman - No!

Duck - Got any bread mate?

Barman - No!

Duck - Got any bread mate?

Barman - No! ... If you ask me again I'll nail your beak to the bar!

Duck - Got any nails mate?

Barman - No!

Duck - Good! 

Duck - Got any bread mate?

 

Ooops gotta go, I think the bosuns just thrown himself overboard!

 

Tell us an old joke please, I need something to share with Quack the duck before he goes.

Poor Quack.

Edited by The Ships Cat
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 1 year later...

Car Keys-

They weren't in my pockets. Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. My husband has scolded me many times for leaving my keys in the car's ignition. He's afraid that the car could be stolen. As I looked around the parking lot, I realized he was right. The parking lot was empty. I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.

Then I made the most difficult call of all to my husband:"I left my keys in the car and it's been stolen."

There was a moment of silence. I thought the call had been disconnected, but then I heard his voice."Are you kidding me?" he barked, "I dropped you off!"

Now it was my turn to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me."

He retorted,"I will, as soon as I convince this cop that I didn't steal your damn car!"

Link to post
Share on other sites

The Senior Breakfast Special

 

The 2.99Special
 
 

We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the 'seniors' special' was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $2.99.
 
'Sounds good,' my wife said, 'But I don't want the eggs.'
 
‘Then, I'll have to charge you $3.49 because you're ordering a la carte,' the waitress warned her.
'You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?' my wife asked incredulously.
'YES!' stated the waitress.
 
'I'll take the special then,' my wife said.
 
'How do you want your eggs?' the waitress asked.
'Raw and in the shell,' my wife replied.

She took the two eggs home and baked a cake.
 
DON'T MESS WITH SENIORS! WE'VE been around the block more than once!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...