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A couple were in a busy shopping center just before Christmas. The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing and as they had a lot to do, so she called him on the mobile.

The wife said " Where are you, you know we have lots to do."

He said "You remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day I would get it for you?"

Little tears started to flow down her cheek and she got all choked up…

"Yes, I do remember that shop." she replied.

"Well I am in the hobby shop next door to that."

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse if its alcoholic, to which the horse replies "I don't think I am".


POOF!! The horse disappears.


This is the point in time where any philosophy majors among you might start to giggle, because you are familiar with the philosophical proposition "Cogito, ergo sum". Or, "I think, therefore I am".


But to explain that concept beforehand would be to put Descartes before the horse.

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A 90 year old couple each with a bit of memory loss went to the doctor.  He assured them this was not too serious and quite common at their age and suggested writing things down so as to not forget.   That night the man headed to the kitchen asked his admiral if she would like him to bring her something. She asked that he get her some ice cream.  He said OK and she asked him to write it down per the doctor's suggestions.  He responded that he can remember a bowl of ice cream.  She then asked to have some strawberries on top, so best to write it down. Again he said I can remember a bowl of ice cream with strawberries on top.  She then asked that he out some whipped cream on top and he really should write it down.  He was getting quite irritated and said he can remember a bowl of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream.  


20 minutes later he came back and handed her a plate with bacon and eggs.  She saw it, looked at him, shook her head, and said, "you forgot the toast!"

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Joe ran into his friend Fred and started chatting.   He told Fred he just got a new hearing aid that was the best available and cost $4000.  He told Fred his hearing was better than ever and was really happy about making the investment.  Fred asked him what kind it was.  Joe said twelve fifteen.



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 Farmer's Math
 A farmer died leaving his 17 horses to his 3 sons.
When his sons opened up the Will it read:
My eldest son should get 1/2 (half) of total horses;
My middle son should be given 1/3rd (one-third) of the total horses;
My youngest son should be given 1/9th (one-ninth) of the total horses.
As it's impossible to divide 17 into half or 17 by 3 or 17 by 9,
The three sons started to fight with each other.
So, they decided to go to a farmer friend who they considered quite
smart, to see if he could work it out for them.
The farmer friend read the Will patiently, and after giving due thought.
He brought one of his own horses over and added it to the 17.
That increased the total to 18 horses.
Now, he divided the horses according to their father's will.
Half of 18 = 9. So he gave the eldest son 9 horses.
1/3rd of 18 = 6. So he gave the middle son 6 horses.
1/9th of 18 = 2. So he gave the youngest son 2 horses.
Now add up how many horses they have:
Eldest son  9
Middle son  6
Youngest son  2
TOTAL = 17
Now this leaves one horse over, so the farmer friend takes his horse back to his farm......
Problem solved!
(Scratch your head over how that was accomplished .... and let me know)


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