Jump to content
The Ships Cat

Them Old Jokes

Recommended Posts

A couple were in a busy shopping center just before Christmas. The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing and as they had a lot to do, so she called him on the mobile.

The wife said " Where are you, you know we have lots to do."

He said "You remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day I would get it for you?"

Little tears started to flow down her cheek and she got all choked up…

"Yes, I do remember that shop." she replied.

"Well I am in the hobby shop next door to that."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse if its alcoholic, to which the horse replies "I don't think I am".

 

POOF!! The horse disappears.

 

This is the point in time where any philosophy majors among you might start to giggle, because you are familiar with the philosophical proposition "Cogito, ergo sum". Or, "I think, therefore I am".

 

But to explain that concept beforehand would be to put Descartes before the horse.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Here is a very funny joke for all you mind readers "................................................................................................................" !!!!!!!!!! Told you didn't I ? !

Edited by geoff

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A 90 year old couple each with a bit of memory loss went to the doctor.  He assured them this was not too serious and quite common at their age and suggested writing things down so as to not forget.   That night the man headed to the kitchen asked his admiral if she would like him to bring her something. She asked that he get her some ice cream.  He said OK and she asked him to write it down per the doctor's suggestions.  He responded that he can remember a bowl of ice cream.  She then asked to have some strawberries on top, so best to write it down. Again he said I can remember a bowl of ice cream with strawberries on top.  She then asked that he out some whipped cream on top and he really should write it down.  He was getting quite irritated and said he can remember a bowl of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream.  

 

20 minutes later he came back and handed her a plate with bacon and eggs.  She saw it, looked at him, shook her head, and said, "you forgot the toast!"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Joe ran into his friend Fred and started chatting.   He told Fred he just got a new hearing aid that was the best available and cost $4000.  He told Fred his hearing was better than ever and was really happy about making the investment.  Fred asked him what kind it was.  Joe said twelve fifteen.

 

Allan

Edited by allanyed

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Today seems like a good day to remember the etymology of the word "politics" that I heard somewhere years ago:

 

Poli is, of course, an adaptation from the Greek "many"

 

and Tics are for those little blood suckers....

 

;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
 Farmer's Math
 
  
 A farmer died leaving his 17 horses to his 3 sons.
 
  
When his sons opened up the Will it read:
  
My eldest son should get 1/2 (half) of total horses;
  
My middle son should be given 1/3rd (one-third) of the total horses;
 
 
 
My youngest son should be given 1/9th (one-ninth) of the total horses.
  
 
As it's impossible to divide 17 into half or 17 by 3 or 17 by 9,
  
The three sons started to fight with each other.
 
 
So, they decided to go to a farmer friend who they considered quite
 
smart, to see if he could work it out for them.
 
 
 
 
 
The farmer friend read the Will patiently, and after giving due thought.
 
He brought one of his own horses over and added it to the 17.
 
 
 
That increased the total to 18 horses.
 
 
 
Now, he divided the horses according to their father's will.
 
 
 
 
  
 
 
 
Half of 18 = 9. So he gave the eldest son 9 horses.
 
 
 
1/3rd of 18 = 6. So he gave the middle son 6 horses.
 
 
 
1/9th of 18 = 2. So he gave the youngest son 2 horses.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Now add up how many horses they have:
 
Eldest son  9
 
Middle son  6
 
 
 
Youngest son  2
         
 
 
TOTAL = 17
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Now this leaves one horse over, so the farmer friend takes his horse back to his farm......
 
 
Problem solved!
 
(Scratch your head over how that was accomplished .... and let me know)
 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

About us

Modelshipworld - Advancing Ship Modeling through Research

SSL Secured

Your security is important for us so this Website is SSL-Secured

NRG Mailing Address

Nautical Research Guild
237 South Lincoln Street
Westmont IL, 60559-1917

About the NRG

If you enjoy building ship models that are historically accurate as well as beautiful, then The Nautical Research Guild (NRG) is just right for you.

The Guild is a non-profit educational organization whose mission is to “Advance Ship Modeling Through Research”. We provide support to our members in their efforts to raise the quality of their model ships.

The Nautical Research Guild has published our world-renowned quarterly magazine, The Nautical Research Journal, since 1955. The pages of the Journal are full of articles by accomplished ship modelers who show you how they create those exquisite details on their models, and by maritime historians who show you the correct details to build. The Journal is available in both print and digital editions. Go to the NRG web site (www.thenrg.org) to download a complimentary digital copy of the Journal. The NRG also publishes plan sets, books and compilations of back issues of the Journal and the former Ships in Scale and Model Ship Builder magazines.

Our Emblem

Modelshipworld - Advancing Ship Modeling through Research
×
×
  • Create New...