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"Bracelet at Tiffany's"

 

A lady walks into Tiffany's jewelers.

She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet,
and walks over to inspect it.

As she bends over to look more closely,
she unexpectedly farts loudly.

Very embarrassed,
she looks around nervously
to see if anyone noticed her little 'whoopsie'
and prays that a sales person wasn't anywhere near.

As she turns around,
her worst  nightmare materializes
in the form of a salesman
standing right behind her,
and he's good looking as well.

Cool as a cucumber,
he displays all of the qualities
one would expect of a professional
in a store like Tiffany's.

He politely greets the lady with,
"Good day, Madam.  How may we help you today?"

Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little 'incident', she asks,
"Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?"
He answers:
"Madam.....if you farted just looking at it,
you're going to absolutely **** when I tell you the price."
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I was in a store the other day that had big X's on the floor for distancing.

I told the guy ahead of me in line who was standing square on the X "You must never have seen Roadrunner cartoons or you wouldn't be standing on that X" - I was standing well clear of the X where I should have been standing.  He looked at me with a look on his face - what wasn't hidden by the mask - that showed he didn't understand my comment at - turned back around and then it dawned on him what I was referring to - he turned and gave me a thumbs up.  I think under his mask he was smiling.

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