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15 minutes ago, Old Collingwood said:

dont go there  trust me

Not true. If one person thinks they are enjoyable enough to dream up, then somewhere, sometime, someone is going to feel the same and think it is funny as well. Probably not all, possibly only one but they will be out there somewhere. 

Edited by lmagna
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14 minutes ago, lmagna said:

Not true. If one person thinks they are enjoyable enough to dream up, then somewhere, sometime, someone is going to feel the same and think it is funny as well. Probably not all, possibly only one but they will be out there somewhere. 

Ok, I'll  send you all 1000  I made up,    that would be punishment   lol.



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I never served in the military, but I am the daughter of an Assistant Fire Chief, the sister of a fireman, the niece of a fireman and the niece of a policeman (all retired or deceased); also the wife of a (retired) Fire Marshall, the daughter in law of a fire chief (deceased) and my husband's grandfather was also a fire chief.  I also worked in the meat department for a local grocery chain with a bunch of crazy guys.  Do I get any street cred?  😀

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Kurt, my mother (born '48) grew up in rural Mindanao as her father was a missionary there. The insurgency was ongoing even then, he would come home from doing his rounds in the hill country with bullet holes in his jeep. My father grew up in Manila, his family goes all the way back to the Spanish-American war as they set up the first US Post Office in the country once the US took over from the Spanish (for years they had Box #1 at the central Manila PO) and stayed on to start various businesses. I grew up with all sorts of Filipino songs, nursery rhymes, etc. and still do a lot of Filipino cooking.


To get this all back to the funny theme, two stories from Mindanao come to mind. One was when my grandmother had hired a new local cook (they employed one because she was a full-time nurse raising four kids with my grandfather gone a lot). Grandma grown up on a farm in southern Mississippi and wasn't fazed by rural life, but also had very strict ideas about what  was proper by her standards. The new cook brought in a roast chicken with everything still attached (head, feet, etc.), and my mother well remembers the reaction at table. Another was when my mother and some local kids got the bright idea to see if cats could fly, by placing one of the many local cats in a basket, attaching an umbrella to the basket handle, and climbing up the two-story local water tower. An adult caught them in time (from the cat's perspective).

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6 hours ago, Canute said:

But, I seen the same humor in my friends among the police and firefighters,


Let's see........ Ex military, ex law enforcement. That should qualify me for at least a little crazy if nothing else.

5 hours ago, NRG OFFICE MANAGER said:

Do I get any street cred?  😀


Looks like you are more qualified than I am Mary. In fact more than most. Welcome to the crazy crowd.


The people I found with the most warped sense of humor in my opinion were the people who work in the Morgue and morticians in general. Now THOSE people have a strange idea of what is funny!:blink:

Edited by lmagna
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I wonder how many have been sent on an hours long search for Charley Noble.  I spent several hours as a cadet going from the engine room to the bridge, bow to stern, port to starboard on the SS Brazil looking for this guy.   A passenger finally stopped me on one of my many passes fore and aft and asked what the heck I was doing.  He had an inkling as he was a retired old salt and figured something was up.   He told me who Charley was and the search ended in the galley with congrats from the officers that had set this old trick up for my roommate and me.    

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I was out on my motor bike in the country lanes, when I saw and then felt a bang, I wasn’t going excessively fast, but fast enough for the environment I was in

I managed to stop, checked for any damage and left the bike at the side of the road and walk back to see what I had hit

Just in the verge I found what I was looking for, and young adult Hare, and he was very dead.

A car pulled up where I was standing, and a very pretty woman got out to see what the problem was and asking if I was alright. And confirmed the roadkill in conversation.

she opened the car door and took a bag out, after opening it up she removed a small bottle with a clear liquid it it, she walked to the hare, knelt and put a few drops of the liquid in the hare’s mouth.

she got up and stood by me

after about 20 seconds, the hare moved, stood up and shook himself and hopped off down the road, after a short distance stopped turned around and waved at us, then repeated the same several times until he was lost in the distance

what just happened there I said to her

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A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door.

He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it’s half past three in the morning. “I’m not getting out of bed at this time,” he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows and he hears a stirring from his wife.

“Aren’t you going to answer that?” says his wife.

So he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and there is man standing at the door. It didn’t take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk.

“Hi there,” slurs the stranger. “Can you give me a push?”

“No, get lost. It’s half past three. I was in bed,” says the man and slams the door.

He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says, “Dave, that wasn’t very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby sitter and you had to knock on that man’s house to get us started again? What would have happened if he’d told us to get lost?”

“But the guy was drunk,” says the husband.

“It doesn’t matter,” says the wife. “He needs our help and it would be the right thing to help him.”

Finally, the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts, “Hey, do you still want a push?”

And he hears a voice cry out, “Yeah, please.”

Still being unable to see the stranger he shouts, “Where are you?”

And the stranger replies, “I’m over here, on your swing.”

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