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Dave was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.

He knew that he would inherit a fortune once his sickly father died.

 Dave wanted two things:

 • to learn how to invest his inheritance and,

 • to find a wife to share his fortune.

One evening at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her,

"but in just a few years, my father will die and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."

Impressed, the woman obtained his business card.

Two weeks later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at estate planning than men.

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On 4/17/2021 at 11:23 AM, NRG OFFICE MANAGER said:

Wish him a Happy Birthday from all of us!

Thank you Mary. He had a pretty good time I think. We had the entire extended family show up in the back yard and played outdoor games and had a small bon fire in the fire pit. Everyone seemed to have a good time. The birthday boy got some nice presents along with a TON of money in gift cards and cash. I threatened to mug him in his sleep but his attack cat sleeps with him so it foiled my attempt!:D:ph34r:

 

As for him following up on model building, only my second oldest has shown any interest outside of a period where we were doing dungeon type figures for playing games. The rest of them are only interested if it involves a screen and expensive electronics. In his case it is not following up after his father as biologically I am his grandfather. But as we adopted him years ago I am also his father. Did I ever tell you, we have a VERY confusing family tree around here?:stunned:

Edited by lmagna
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I dabble in photography and a couple of years ago I took a 4 day Milky Way Photography Workshop in southern Utah and one of the photographers cracked us all up with this one:

 

An up and coming, young photographer, Jean-Paul, finally got his big break and was having his first gallery showing.

As he was mingling and chatting with the some of the people in attendance, a very pretty woman approached him and said, "Hello, my name is Julie and I was just admiring your work. I think these are the most amazing photographs I have ever seen. I can't imagine how you manage to take such beautiful images. You must have a very good camera."

Julie went on to say, "I'm really into cooking and I would love to have you over for dinner and discuss your photography with you." So Jean-Paul accepted her invitation for the following Saturday evening.

Shortly after arriving at her stylish apartment they were both sharing a glass of wine and making small talk when she said, "I made a special casserole completely from scratch for dinner tonight and I think it should just about be ready. I made it entirely from my own recipe."

She dished up two servings of the casserole and then she watched Jean-Paul with bated breath as he took his first bite. After savoring the delicious flavors, he paused briefly and then said, "My God, Julie, this is the most amazing casserole I have ever tasted in my life. I can't imagine how you managed to create it. You must have a very good oven!"

 

 

Edited by BobG
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Famous football quotes.  I hope football references aren't considered political.  Please don't hate me if your team was left out!  😁

 

"I never graduated from Iowa.  I was only there for two terms - Truman's and Eisenhower's."   
–  Alex Karras / Iowa 
 
"I could have been a Rhodes Scholar except for my grades."     
- Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State 
 
" Always remember Goliath was a 40-point favorite over David."     
- Shug Jordan / Auburn    
 
"I asked Darrell Royal, the coach of the Texas Longhorns, why he didn't recruit me "      
He said,   "Well, Walt, we took a look at you, and you weren't any good."     
-    Walt Garrison / Oklahoma State
   
 
After USC lost 51-0 to Notre Dame, his post-game message to his team was; 
"All those who need showers, take them."     
-  John McKay / USC 

"   If lessons are learned in defeat, our team is getting a great education.”     
-  Murray Warmath / Minnesota 
  

"We live one day at a time and scratch where it itches."      
-  Darrell Royal / Texas    
 

"We didn't tackle well today, but we made up for it by not blocking."         
-  John McKay / USC 
  

Ohio State's Urban Meyer on one of his players: 
"He doesn't know the meaning of the word fear. 
In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know the meaning of a lot of words.”


Why do Auburn fans wear orange?     
So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday. 

What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs?     
Drool.

How many Michigan State freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb?    
None. That's a sophomore course. 

How did the Auburn football player die from drinking milk? 
The cow fell on him. 

Two Texas A&M football players were walking in the woods. 
One of them said,   " Look, a dead bird." 
The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?" 

What do you say to a Florida State University football player dressed in a three-piece suit?   \  
"Will the defendant please rise."
 How can you tell if a Clemson football player has a girlfriend?   
There's tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck. 
 
What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room? 
A full set of teeth. 

University of Michigan Coach Jim Harbaugh is only going to dress half of his players for the game this week   .The other half will have to dress themselves. 
 
How is the Kansas football team like an opossum?   
They play dead at home and get killed on the road.   

How do you get a former University of Miami football player off your porch? 
Pay him for the pizza.
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I was just looking at Youtube "The Funniest Football Chants in England." - Many of them aren't suitable for family viewing, but my two favourites - to the opposing team who are winning - "You're Nothing Special. We Lose Every Week." and to the opposing goalkeeper who's just let a goal though - "It's all Your Fault, It's All Your Fault!"

 

Steven

Edited by Louie da fly
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Steven,  took me a minute to figure your post out when you mentioned football and a goal in the same paragraph.   Guess I am stuck on American football in my head even though my kids and grandkids all play(ed) soccer and I actually refereed in teenage soccer leagues for 7 years in California and New Jersey.     

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I'm a big supporter of Kansas City's club, whose supporters have definitely used versions of the "it's all your fault" line. My personal favorite came when our opponent was playing the younger brother of a beloved KC player, leading to various chants along the lines of "[family name] reject" and "ours is better" whenever said player came within earshot. 

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19 hours ago, Louie da fly said:

Yes, but most countries in the world call it football (the U.S. and Australia are among the few exceptions) and by rights it's really the only code that deserves the name. In how many other games of "football" is most of the work done by the feet?

 

Steven

 

 

Ah, yes Steve, but back in the days, there was a lot of foot work, mostly illegal, in rugby union scrums and rucks. (And for a lot of MSW members, rugby union is one of the four "football" games we play in Oz - union, league, Aussie rules and soccer.)

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Much as I love the grace and skill of British football ("soccer"), I have to say there's nothing to compare with the moment an Aussie Rules (AFL = Australian Football League) footballer takes a mark (catches a flying ball). "The Big Men Fly".

 

See https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMZYZcoAcU0 - particularly the passage from 2.19 to 2.43 culminating in one footballer taking a mark while kneeling on the shoulders of an opposing player!

 

Steven

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