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Them Old Jokes

The Ships Cat

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9 minutes ago, Ponto said:

There are times where I think one tape measure for each room may still not be enough.

We have a tape measure for almost every room in the house, both cars and extras in the garage and basement.  They must be magnetic because they all eventually end up in one place and then we have to redistribute them!

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20 minutes ago, Canute said:

That can work with reader eyeglasses, too. One at computer, one at workbench, one at nightstand and one in living room as a just in case. Good thing they're inexpensive.

Again though they all end up in the same place, after forgetting they've been pushed up on your head🤓🙄

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A man walks into a bar. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a little man, maybe a foot tall, and a little piano. He puts them both on the bar and the little guy starts playing Mozart as the man orders his drink.

The bartender says "I'm sure it's none of my business, but where did you find a little man who plays piano like that?"

The guy says "There's a genie outside granting wishes, I bet he's still there if you hurry."

The bartender runs outside, and moments later a bunch of ducks come in through the front door and start causing a big ruckus. The bartender says "You didn't tell me the genie was deaf, I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks."

The guy says

''Do you really think I asked for an eleven inch pianist?"

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