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QUEEN ANNE BARGE by CaptainSteve – Syren Ship Model Company – 1:24

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QUEEN ANNE BARGE (An Build Log by-eth CaptainSteve) – SYREN SHIP MODEL COMPANY – 1 parteth to 24

Directed, produced and writ-eth by Capta…

(“Hey-eth !! They get-eth the idea !! Can we jus’ be a-movin’ along already ??”)


Some time back, CaptainSteve didst purchase one o’ Chuck’s fine Queen Anne Barge kits. “I didst buy-eth it,” Our Hero started, “wi’ the intention o’ giving it to me Dad to construct-eth.”

Indeed-eth, CaptainSteve’s father didst make-eth good beginnings unto his Barge. The futtock pieces hadst all been fixed most properly in place to the bulkhead frameworks, and the keel piece hadst been-eth constructed.


“Except-eth,” Our Hero was to begin-eth this log, “the keel pieces were most incorrect.”

‘Twouldst seemeth that the keelson were not aligned most properly along the centre of the keel pieces, as intended by Mr Passaro. Thusly, the rabbet be non-existent in parts, un-centred in some, and too big in others. And so he had to commence-eth by applying copious amounts o’ Isopropyl.


“The keel didst need to be re-done-eth !!”, CaptainSteve exclaim-ethed.

Fortunately, his father had saved-eth all o’ the various bits and pieces and didst collect-eth them.



“And so”, as always, Our Hero were to go-eth on, “thence I didst take-eth steps to be assuring that all o’ the pieces were-eth on-hand.”

Salvation1.JPG.0ec6672227a720020402c7bb83595cba.JPG               Salvation2.JPG.7cb60f0643e2dc06aafe3e693b53e1fa.JPG



To do so, Our Hero didst spot-glue-eth the various delicate lasering sheets unto pages o’ printer paper fer safe-keeping. Whilst CaptainSteve was able to find almost all of the pieces to filleth the blank spaces, there were some gaps …



“I be a-hopin’ that those missing pieces be not all that important”, he didst say-eth. But, secretly, Our Hero were a-crossing his fingers most furtively.


Meanwhile, since this kit were originally be meant for his father to build-eth, CaptainSteve didst return-eth the carving pieces from the kit …

241936252_DadCarvings1.JPG.290d1143f6af1b16693974a2fef84633.JPG     2050164468_DadCarvings2.JPG.5f68f18c498c23b131057a6d2bfe1c99.JPG


“That be me Dad, CaptainBruce,” he didst state-eth most proudly. “At the least, they be-eth his four score year old hands a-wielding a tool to carve-eth out the scrollwork pieces fer his Barge.”


Indeed-eth, Our Hero and his father have already devised a plan for the scrollwork.

“It be a most spectacular plan o’ our own design,” CaptainSteve were to state-eth. “But there be more on that latterly,” he didst concludeth, most conspiratorially.


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Following on, CaptainSteve didst affix-eth a newly constructed keelson unto the keel.

“Most fortuitously,” he waffled, “Chuck didst provide-eth enough spare pieces to make-eth the job much easier.”


Thence he didst attach-eth the new keelson unto the bulkheads.

“I be a-needing merely,” he didst explain-eth, “to correct a few o’ the bulkhead frames by turning them a-sternwards in the provided build-board, and all be most goodly.”


But ‘twas at about that time whence Our Hero were to notice-eth the following on Chuck’s plans …



“Verily, Charles !!”, CaptainSteve didst address-eth Chuck directly. “Most assuredly, ye may-eth just as well ha’ wave-ethed a red flag at me bull-like head whilst taunting, ‘Toro, CaptainSteve, Toro !!’”


And so, firstly he didst take-eth up his knife and were to hack-eth out a seating fer his keel-plates …






Thinking (most incorrectly, as it didst turn-eth out) that the above feature were to be a copper keel-plate, Our Hero didst cutteth short lengths of copper foil tape (“O’ the kind used fer copper-plating an hull”) …



 … and thence didst embark-eth upon a quest to find-eth some substance to accurately reflect-eth iron bolt-heads.


“It be not an easy task,” he didst detaileth. “A-first, I be a-clipping the heads from the smallest tacks that I didst possesseth. But e’en they be too large in stature. Hence, didst I try-eth to cut short lengths o’ blackened wire to insert.”


However, alas and alack, the wire proved to be too random to represent iron bolt-heads.

“I be not convinced by their appearance,” Our Hero grumbled. But then he didst decide-eth to try something which didst prove-eth to be an epiphany.



Most assured wi’ his discovery, and his ownself, CaptainSteve didst dippeth the poppy seeds in black stain, allowed them to dry-eth, and didst attempt a testing-piece …

871374405_KeelBash8.JPG.e5e4085d9556fedd97308d443ec3d0f8.JPG                1835042102_KeelBash9.JPG.d16230373623bf197d20cce524944bb0.JPG


“And here they be-eth,” Our Hero beamed, “affixed in place on me hull.”

346770353_KeelBash11.JPG.10ab3efc2747b4e3ca98637d9ea7da7e.JPG               Keelplate.JPG.a3f0f766875c07618cb51c5628338617.JPG


"Oh verily,” CaptainSteve were to bringeth this entry to a close, “I didst forgetteth to mention that I didst stain-eth the whole thing with Old Baltic.”


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Verily, Ken, as this be a virtual build, everybody gets a front row seat. Ye shall find-eth the virtual popcorn machine to yer right ... just next to the virtual wet-bar and slurpee machine. The virtual mechanical bull and pool-table be-eth to yer left.


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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 4 months later...

Verily, CaptainSteve didst let-eth things slide o’er the Christmas break and beyond. “I be putting in long hours on the Santa Claus contract,” he were to boast-eth (until very recently, Our Hero work-ethed in the freight & logistics industry).


But despite this setback, he didst make-eth some progress, and the planking of his Dad’s Barge didst come-eth to fruition.

First up, some light fairing of the frames and futtocks were done, a’fore tick strips were measured and cut …


… and then marked …


“I be a-figurin’,” he began, “that the positioning of the plankage be of utmost import.” ‘Twas only much later that CaptainSteve were to figure out that it be only of import to mark-eth the bottom of the first strake – the rest be taking care of itself.


Moving onto the planking stage, Our Hero was a’first somewhat confused by the pre-cut planks that didst come-eth supplied in his kit.


“Let-eth it not be said that Mr Passaro doesn’t think outside the box,” he was heard to say. “Indeed-eth, Charles doth thinketh so far outside the box that these days he be just keepin’ an picture above his desk to remind-eth himself what a box looks like.”


Our Hero was struggling to understand why there were planks facing opposite directions amongst the supplied port and starboard planking pieces.


“A-first, these didst somewhat flummox me addled brain,” Our Hero whined. But once he read through the plans a couple of times, things began-eth to make sense, and he didst see-eth the brilliance of Chuck’s designin’s. “I jus’ be a-needin’ to sort me port from me starboard, me inboard from me outboard, as well as me up from me down.”


To aid-eth his ownself, he were to recall-eth a verse from his youth. “Me Father didst many a-time say-eth, ‘There be-eth some port left in the bottle.’” Alas, ‘twere many a-year a-fore Our Hero didst realize-eth the wisdom of this verse and not that his father was, indeed-eth, merely an ever-hopeful alcoholic.


 But a’fore moving onwards, to prevent-eth a further occurrence o’ such stupidity, CaptainSteve bemoaned, “I be takin’ steps …”


Now, if only Our Hero couldst be a-figurin’ his “Up” from his “Down” ….

“Oi !!! I heard-eth that !!”

Ahem ….


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Whilst there be all manner of different methods used by ship modellers for bending planks, CaptainSteve hath always been fond o’ his curling iron. “I be usin’ it,” he didst allow-eth hisself to meander, yet again, “to curl-eth the ringlets in me beard.”


One point which Our Hero didst notice whilst attempting to form-eth his planks, were that it be-eth necessary to keep-eth each strake most goodly and straight, whence look-ethed upon in profile.

“It be much-eth easier,” CaptainSteve didst bluster, “whence ye doth conceptualize-eth the plank. Be-eth at one with the plank. Become-eth the plank.”


As Our Hero shaped each matching pair of planks, he were to-est compare-eth them one unto each other, port and starboard.


“In particularly,” Our Hero bemoaned, “I didst have to remove and re-do the section around the flying transom a time or two.”


Despite-eth, however, the difficulties he were to encounter in getting this section of the build most rightly, CaptainSteve didst work-eth onwards.


Ever resourceful (“And stubborn !!”), Our Hero didst finally complete-eth his planking …



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With the planking done, CaptainSteve were most anxious to free his Barge from its’ build-board, and to be a-flipping it right ways upwards …


Despite his long-established track-record, Our Hero were able to remove-eth the frame centres without incident …. Well, ALMOST without incident.


“A-first,” he began to narrate, “I doth be attempting to repair this piece.” But, as things were to turn-eth out, this part were, like his own self, under a lot of pressure. Thusly, it didst became-eth necessary to re-make this frame piece …


When didst come-eth time to replace this frame, CaptainSteve tried many a-ways to a-fix and hold it securely into position. “Elastic bands be, again, a-bringing too much pressure to bear upon it,” he were to complain.

Eventually, after a couple of do-overs, the solution didst present-eth its ownself in the form of a cable-tie …


T’was about this point in time that Our Hero were to, yet again, go-eth off on a tangent. “Those wi’ a keen eye,” he stated, most nonchalantly, “may ha’ noticed something inneresting in one of the above pictures.”


Indeed-eth, in the 5th photo down, above, the observant amongst the Horde can spot-eth the beginnings of another ship in the background. “It be-eth behind the flying transom,” he didst point-eth out, most helpfully.”

Verily, Our Hero has begun another model !! It seems that CaptainSteve has secretly purchased and commenced his next build … HM Bomb Vessel Granado, by Caldercraft.


“Ah, yes,” he explained, almost as an afterthought. “That were to be me next build … but I be a-moving me time schedule up a few notches. I be a-getting around to writin’ a build-log fer that one, in due course.”


But, for now, at least, Our Hero were to forge-eth onwards with his Queen Anne Barge …


“A-first,” he continued, barely missing a beat, “I were to take-eth up me Dremel to fair down the frame innards.” Thusly, with the wind at his back,” he began to wind-eth down this entry, “I didst next progress-eth onwards with the cap rails.”


For the most part, CaptainSteve didst use-eth the laser-cuttings supplied by Chuck …



“But, I be a-finding that the rear-most pieces didst not fit-eth well to me flying transom section. Thusly, I didst make-eth me own.”



Somewhat fragile a-forehand, his barge now didst finally begin-eth to take-eth on a degree o' rigidity.


To round out this entry, Our Hero next removed the floor-board pieces from the laserings and didst clean-eth them up a little …


“I be a-marking the edges,” he commented, “with a black felt-tip pen, to simulate the caulkings.”


As things turned out, CaptainSteve eventually sanded off the majority of the ‘caulking’, as they did bleed out, making somewhat of a mess. Next, he didst make-eth the depth gauge, as directed by Chuck’s plans … which meant a little extra frame fairing a-fore he could continue …


With a little soaking and heat-bending to fit the central board to the frame curvature, Our Hero didst install-eth the main floorboards, a’fore adding the platforms, fore and aft …


And, so, his Queen Anne Barge, now much sturdier and more stabilized, as she stands currently …


“I be a-planning,” CaptainSteve concluded, most contritely, “to be much more diligent wi’ me postings in the future.”

At least, that be the plan ...



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1 hour ago, src said:

And the tattoos on the wrists, very smart of you. But, what happens when you look in the mirror, then your left is your right and your right is your left!




I be confused enough on me own, Sam .... I don't need any help.


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Next up for Our Hero were to be-eth the plank nailing. A-first he didst take-eth up his knife and prepare-eth a bowlful of “nails”.

“They be cut-eth from an roll o’ fine plastic filament o’ the type used in them new-fangled 3D printer thingamabobs,” he tried to explain-eth, perhaps confusing himself e’en more in the process. “Each be but a few millimetres long.”


“There be more ‘an a few ‘undred in there,” he stated, with some degree of certainty.


And, thus, CaptainSteve took up his pin-vise and drilled a series o’ holes up ‘n’ down the length o’ his Barge, a’fore dipping each miniscule nail in CA, and insert-ething it.


Surprisingly, Our Hero were to deviate from the plans again …

“Rather than adding nails betwixt the frames,” he meandered, “I be a-figuring that those nails wouldst have-eth nowhere to lie, and wouldst protrude-eth inside the bottom o’ me planking, and be-eth an most unsightly sight.”

Instead, he didst elect-eth to add an additional line of nails along the top of Plank2 …


“Methinks,” he didst try-eth to claim, “they make-eth the nailing appear-eth most prominent, indeed.”


Upon completing the nailing o’ the exterior planking, Our Hero didst get-teth a little carried away. Still having at least half of the “nails” he had cut remain-ething, he next turn-ethed his attentions to the floorboards and didst, once again, begin-eth drilling …


… a’fore insert-ething …


…. and then a-trimming …


“I be a-liking the effect,” CaptainSteve piped-up. “E’en though, most assuredly, they shall be-eth almost invisible.”


Our Hero then took-eth it upon his ownself to paint-eth the various parts o’ the hull that wouldst end-eth up red. “First,” he were to explain, mayhaps unnecessarily, “I be tape-ething-off me hull to provide a nice clean paint line.”


He went on, as always, to paint-eth the cap-rails, flying transom and the upper section of the prow …


“Hence, t’was most necessary for me to clean-eth up a few spots wi’ me scraper wherewith the paint didst bleed-eth through.”


This was then followed up with an lacquering o’ the exposed cherry wood plankin’, both external and, in the case of the 3rd plank (“Or the first. I still be confuse-ethed on that point”), internal, where it canst be-eth seen.


Now, CaptainSteve doth understand that it be-eth difficult to improve upon perfection, and, without doubt, Chuck’s work be pretty darned close to perfection. But t’was at about this point where Our Hero didst take-eth it upon his ownself to make-eth yet another modification to his Queen Anne Barge kit.


A’first, Our Hero didst fit-eth the bench-end arm-rests ‘ere install-ething the inboard panelling, as per the instructions. But upon having done-eth so, he be a-standin’ back and admiring his work …


… whenceupon CaptainSteve didst decide-eth, “Nah !!!”


“It be-eth but a wee thing, really,” he didst stammer, most nervously. “Jus’ a teeny-weeny kit-bash. Nothin’ to be a-getting upset-eth about, Charles.”


And so he didst remove-eth the arm-rest pieces, attach-ethed a backing o’ masking tape, took up his trusty pin-vise and were to proceed-eth to drill a series o’ tiny, tiny holes around-eth the engraved panel.


“I be a-realizin’ that I didst have-eth but one shot at this,” CaptainSteve realized. But, surprisingly, Our Hero were to successfully complete-eth the task.

"I be spendin’ most an hour on each,” he whined. “But after a clean-up wi’ some files, they be done.”


After a-fixing the arm-rests back into position, CaptainSteve be a-wondering which variation doth look-eth better.

ArmRests1.JPG.01c85e4c806f097170ef2efc99d65ef4.JPG ... or ArmRests4.JPG.406184052b6c95b9b1bffce915859899.JPG

“However,” he stated, most matter-o’-factly, “it be-eth too laterly now to be a-changin’ me mind.”


Next, CaptainSteve were to turn-eth his attentions unto the construction o’ the bench seating.


But whence measuring and fit-ething the parts for the seating, Our Hero didst happen to notice that the frame he had replaced a-time back had developed an stress fracture. Wanting to shore this up a’fore it didst develop-eth further, he didst rush-eth things somewhat wi’ the bench construction. Thusly, progress lithographs were scant.


“It shouldst be-eth okay,” Our Hero bemoaned. “But the instructions doth state that the benches doeth overhang beyond the bench frame pieces by an tiny bit.”


Finally, to round-eth out this entry, CaptainSteve didst needeth merely to cut and shape-eth another seat-back piece. “I were to getteth a little overzealous whence adjust-ething the kit-provided laserin’ to fit,” he tried to explain, somewhat sheepishly.


Once colourated and fitted, all that remained were for Our Hero to fit-eth the two coxswain seats …



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4 hours ago, src said:

But, O!-Hero of ours, where be-eth the operating micro hinges on the seats???😁


I'll go back to my hole now.



That be-eth an good question, Samson. Mayhaps you should take-eth that one up with Charles. Forsooth, he doth not include-eth them.


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3 hours ago, kmart said:

Capt Steve.   


Ur hero's planking and nailing tis looking mighty fine.

But i,'s got to say    that red is looking mighty     err well  Red   🙂


Verily, this doth be most true, K (may-eth I call you K ??). It be somewhat over-exposed in the lithographs, for, alas, mine be-eth but an cheap Canon one shot daguerreotype. Redness doth feature most heavily in the decor o' this Barge, however, for it doth be an Royale Barge. I must give-eth thee faire warning that more redness is to come-eth, with the addition o' the thwarts.


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Forsooth, and for-eth a change, Our Hero didst accomplish much o’er this past seven-day. Mov-ething on from the benches, CaptainSteve didst plan-eth upon installing the stretchers.

“But, first-eth,” he didst begin, “I be a-noticin’ that the flag-stop shouldst be done-eth a-fore it doth be not feasible to do-eth so.”


“I were to e’en,” Our Hero boasted, “add-eth some nailage around the edging o’ me flag-stop.”


Moving in an upwards direction, CaptainSteve didst employ-eth the depth gauge to check-eth and mark-eth the locality o’ the stretchers. “These be-eth the cross-timbers,” he postulated, “use-ethed by the rowers for resting thine footsies upon-eth whence ambulating the Barge.”


A-first, Our Hero were to pin-neth out the timberings that be-eth supporting the stretchers …


“I be attempting,” he tried to explain-eth, “to form-eth an curvature unto the timberings by soak-ething them in water, and pin-ething them unto the plans.” But, as with most of the endeavours of Our Hero, this didst prove-eth futile and most unnecessary.

“They had some curvature, but were not-eth able to hold the forming.”


Thusly, CaptainSteve, didst hack-eth out notchings for his timbers to be seated unto …

Stretchers3.JPG.3d0b8d1ad1f3acbd493325865946d802.JPG                     Stretchers4.JPG.9b78c343c1814ecc1bbfb8556851eb48.JPG

“I didst colourate the notchings wi’ a dab o’ me Oak staining.”


With the longitudinal timbers duly affix-ethed in place, according to the Plans, Our Hero didst next fit-eth the stretchers, a-fore coat-ething them with an low-gloss lacquering …


For his next trick, CaptainSteve didst fit-eth the forward platform, a-fore, again, take-ething up his depth gauge and turn-ething his attentions amidships, unto the riser boards …


“It be-eth most important,” he blustered, “to make-eth sure that the risers meet-eth level with the forward platform.”


On 4/2/2019 at 9:25 AM, kmart said:

Capt Steve.   


Ur hero's planking and nailing tis looking mighty fine.

But i,'s got to say    that red is looking mighty     err well  Red   🙂


“I be a-tryin’ to turn-eth down the redness for ye, K,” Our Hero did try-eth to explain, most apologetically. Indeed, he were to give-eth much thought to re-hueing everything in a nice bright purple (“Or an fluorescent lime green colouration.”), until realizing that the PhotoShop didst not exist-eth circa 1700AD.


“Thus, for the present, alas, the Redness must continue. At the least,” CaptainSteve enthused, “Ye can be going back to the soothing black and whiteness o’ your USS Constitution build (surely, ye intend-eth not to paint-eth the stripe in yellow ?!?!). I be dropping by to check-eth on your progress again most soon.”


Then, whilst a-waiting for the glue to be-eth goodly and set, Our Hero didst decide-eth to apply an final coat o’ red unto his Thwarts. “They be-eth,” he blathered, “an most prominent feature, overall.”


But by-eth the time CaptainSteve hadst cut-teth them back with an fine grit, and applicated the final painting, the glue on his risers had long ago dried … and he had to wait for the thwarts to be also dry, a-fore he couldst be proceed-ething.


“I be a-pinning out the thwarts an’ pieces onto me plans,” he said, “to be a-checkin’ the size and the fit o’ the jointings.”


To check-eth that his thwarts didst not sit-eth too highly, Our Hero didst employ-eth an spare thwart to ascertain that they be seated most adequately unto the risers …


Most surprisingly to those familiar with CaptainSteve’s previous works, the process didst proceed-eth most smoothly henceforth …


… until …


'Twouldst seem-eth that CaptainSteve’s patented method o’ ‘Measure-eth Once, Cut-teth Thrice’ didst leave-eth, umm, little room for error.

“It be-eth an close call,” he bombasted. “But all shall be most goodly once the inboard dress-plankage be affixed-eth unto its’ positioning.”


But, with the thwarts complete-ethed to his satisfaction (mostly), Our Hero didst thence, essentially, use-eth Chuck’s well-written instruction manual as merely an suggestion.

“Verily, I be-eth a-following”, he prosthelytized, “the Word according to Charles most meticulously, thus far.” But, henceforth, Our Hero didst pick-eth and choose-eth the sections that he didst wish-eth to do.


Next, he didst attend-eth unto the step …


… construct-ething it, mostly, in concordance with Chuck’s plans and instructings …  


With this detail now put behind-eth him, CaptainSteve moved onwards with the inboard plankage …


 “There be-eth,” CaptainSteve confabulated, “some minor gappage …”


But Our Hero were to be a-taking care o’ that wi’ a little sawdust and diluted PVA commixture …


… and, in the end, all be-eth most goodly …


“I be e’en getting the rebate,” he prattled on, “along-eth the top o’ the plankage …”


Good for you, CaptainSteve. Good for you.


To round-eth out this posting, Our Hero didst next construct-eth the oar-locks and tholes …

“I be,” he declared, “recall-ething an post by me colleague an’ fellow Barge-builder, JpR62, whereby-eth he didst use-eth an spare piece o’ the laserings as an spacer whence fitting his keelson.”


 “It be an simple and most goodly method o’ a-fixing the 1/32” tholes centrally unto the 3/32” oar-lock pieces.”


But ‘twas then that CaptainSteve didst do-eth something stupid. “Hey-eth !!”, he retorted. “It’s not like it be the first time !!”

Or the last …


For reasons that be knownst only to his ownself, Our Hero were next to affix the oarlock pieces unto to the cap-rail extension pieces …


Fortuitously, Our Hero were to realize-eth his mistake most quickly. With an liberal dosage of Isopropyl, he didst separate-eth the pieces again, a-fore affixing the extension pieces correctly unto their rightful positions …


 “Wi’ that little misstep out of the way,” he said, “I be a-fitting the oar-locks unto the cap-rails …”


The last oar-lock on the port-side didst call-eth for an minor modification unto the cap-rail, so CaptainSteve were to take-eth up his knife …


… and didst hack-eth out an seating for the final thole …


“I be a-giving that last thole an lick o’ paint on the ‘morrow.”


That be-eth the totality o' Our Hero's progress this week. So, CaptainSteve has some final words ....


“Thank ye one ‘n’ all fer the likes and messagings o’ support,” he didst blubber, in closing. “Verily, they be a-helping me greatly in me endeavours.”


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Another seven-day hath pass-ethed by, and Our Hero didst continue to work-eth on the detailage for his Barge. First-eth up, CaptainSteve didst install-eth the framing for his boxwood panels …

Panels1.JPG.8ae1f4b8f1101caf59652a1a693a7fd4.JPG        Panels2.JPG.be719c5b9c11ba3c14d66849572373a1.JPGPanels3.JPG.01e16e9436292208019f391a40d6e688.JPG

“The frames they be-eth most thin and fragile,” he didst commentateth.


Our Hero didst thence take-eth up his knife and were to cut-eth out the artwork to be a-lining the inboard planking …

Panels4.JPG.903034aa94320c78b2010e9d79bd7db7.JPG        Panels5.JPG.a46c199bb756ccc50a41a64443407f6b.JPG


To ensure-eth that the designs were to sit-eth most properly unto the panels, Our Hero didst re-inserteth the centres after glue-ething the designing into the panels.  “I be a-saving the centres,” he didst explain-eth, “to be help-ething me fit-eth the artwork most properly.”

Panels6.JPG.68ce5d2237a5ed0e77f1c79e4c7883a8.JPG        Panels7.JPG.5b6072ae1d03ecc8235519a4a9b87863.JPG

Next, CaptainSteve didst affix-eth the flying transom cap-piece …


… and thence, just because-eth he couldst, Our Hero didst decide-eth to add an cap-rail to the Queen’s seat-rest. “I be a-using,” he bleat-ethed, “an spare piece of boxwood that I didst have-eth left-over from me failed USS Constitution build.”


 Next-eth, the parts to make-eth up the supporting pedesti were colourated an most deep black …


… whereupon, after apply-ething an couple of coats, the pieces were fitted together …


Since-eth these pieces shalt not be-eth required for some time, they currently be sit-ething most patiently in storage until they be-est needed ...


“I be a-using,” CaptainSteve didst explain-eth, most unnecessarily, “me Bomb Vessel fer storage, for the time being. The stands be-eth in there, as well as the ear-pieces, and me rudder, as well-eth.”


Move-ething ever onwards, Our Hero were next to tackle-eth the sweeps for his Barge. “Some shape-age be required,” he grumbled, having spent-eth some hours a-sand-ething the four pieces for each of the ten oars.


Those wi’ an keen eye may-est be a-wondering just why it be that CaptainSteve were to paint-eth the sweep pieces a’fore shape-ething them. Shouldst anyone know the answer, please feel-eth most free to contact-eth management to inform-eth them o’ Our Hero’s reasoning.



“After much sand-age didst occur-eth,” he professed, “I were to affix-eth the handles unto the stock pieces. That be-eth them top-left, wi’ the shafts aside-eth ‘em, and the blades below.”


With his oar pieces finally shaped unto Our Hero’s contentment, he didst use-eth his curling iron to form-eth an curvature unto the blade faces, a-fore bring-ething everything together …


“Thence,” he went on, as always, “I didst apply-eth colouration.”

Yet again !!!


Next up, Our Hero were to, again, take-eth up his trusty knife and carefully hack-eth out the dolphin images to be affix-ethed there unto.

“If they be dolphins,” CaptainSteve posited, “then the rivers whereupon Queen Anne didst sail-eth be irradiated unto an level far beyond-eth that o’ most medieval waterways !!”


Move-ething onwards, Our Hero were next to colour-eth some strips o’ masking-tape with an wood-stain, to make-eth the leather bindings …


“Then, I be a-wrapping me oars with the bindings,” he explain-ethed, “a-fore affix-ething the deformed dolphins.”

An light lacquering were to bring-eth them unto life most spectacularly …


"Verily, I do-est like-eth greatly," he pontificated, "the artwork of Charles. The dark patches a-neath the irradiated dolphins doth give-eth them an most goodly degree of depth and dimensionality."

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Cut-ething the dowels, and shape-ething the beadage to make-eth his flag-poles were to be Our Hero’s next task.

“The beads doth be an right PITA to shape-eth,” he grumbled, “for the laserings be-eth most tiny and minute.” In the end, CaptainSteve were to find-eth that he couldst poke-eth an small file unto each, to assist-eth with the sanding and shape-ething process …


Some hollowing-out o’ the beads were also to be-eth an requirement, but, with the beading done, he didst finish-eth up the poles by fit-ething the cappage unto them, a-fore applying an black colouration …


“I be a-trying,” he stated, trying to justify-eth his decision, “to be a-break-ething up the redness somewhat.”


For his next trick, Our Hero didst turn-eth his attentions unto the decorative moulding strippage to be affixed along the outboard edging …

“To cut-eth the groovings,” CaptainSteve began-eth, “a-first, I be trial-ething an dental tool that I didst find-eth in the bottom o’ me tool-box …”


… but that didst prove-eth to be an most spectacular failure, so, thusly, Our Hero thereupon didst throw-eth his hands up in defeat, a-fore turn-ething his attentions unto the build-logs o’ other Barge-builders.

“I didst find-eth,” he blustered, “that Jean-Paul (JpR62) didst, yet again, have-eth the solution to me woes …

Moulding2.JPG.e512ce0bbc33ab3e1e08e8a235dd18e2.JPG         Moulding1.JPG.979aa99bb5fc6eb6db7746f98a054282.JPG

… and, so, CaptainSteve were to construct-eth an scraper to scrape-eth out his mouldings, borrowing most heavily from JP’s work (“I thank-eth thee muchly, Jean-Paul !!!”).


With that little problem hence resolve-ethed, Our Hero were able to build-eth up an stockage of groove-ethed strips, some of which didst actually pass-eth through Quality Control …

Moulding3a.JPG.f19393f17cd26cb625eaf7b9583efd87.JPG           Moulding3b.JPG.61293ae7748f56cca312d0969ebf3bca.JPG

“In keep-ething with the Word according to Charles,” he flubbered, “I be first a-fixing the ear pieces (which I didst also groove-eth) foremost, a-fore attach-ething the decorative strips …”

 Moulding5a.JPG.7c6fed95dd76cca56afcee716427625e.JPG             Moulding5c.JPG.718c31bd1744eaa09b33f8129bde0feb.JPG

Most please-ethed with his work, and with his ownself, Our Hero didst stand-eth back to admire his Barge ….

Moulding6.JPG.b877932a3208cb4d68f29d2e66cef31f.JPG               Moulding6a.JPG.efbbff9fc9744163f8db431b7f45279b.JPG

To bring-eth this entry unto an close, CaptainSteve were next to take-eth the card stem-plate piece that be included in his kit, and shape-eth it unto the stem-post …


“Do you recall-eth,” he didst beseech-eth, “the jar of poppy seeds that I be purchase-ething for me copper keel-plates ??”

Well, most fortuitously, there still be-eth some left over.

“Precisely 73 billion, 456 gazillion, five ‘unerd and three,” Our Hero were to maintain-eth. “Verily, I didst count-eth them !!!”


Thusly, in what couldst only be an self-serving attempt to be awarded this week’s OCD Award For Unnecessary Detailage, CaptainSteve didst take but a few and stain-eth them with the Black Japan wood colouration …


“If ye doth squint-eth most closely,” he postulated, in closing, “ye can see-eth them. Just.”


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3 hours ago, src said:

Well done Captain! Scrapers and sweepers and Moldings, Oh My!

Although Me-thinks you need to go back and re-count your seeds. After careful study of your picture it appears you miscounted, there are precisely 73 billion 456 gazillion five hundred and one.



What-eth !! Huh ??? Are ye most sure, Samson ?!?!

Very well ...

One-eth ... two-eth ... three-eth ...

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